“How beautifully blind are we to ignore the smallest things in us,

for it’s the smallest parts in us that gives us the power

to do the most brilliant of things”

r.m. drake

We spend so much time trying to conceal and hide what makes us, us. Instead, that’s the part of us we should lead with. The quirks, flaws, imperfections…this is what makes us beautiful. And human. In a Social media world we paint lives that look amazing even if we are unhappy. We measure our self worth and talent on how many likes or hearts or comments we receive. Why? Because somehow we are taught to hide our struggles even though these are the things that makes us feel the most connected to one another. It’s not our success that makes us feel connected. It’s our struggles.We connect with people’s flaws. Their stories. Because their flaws are our flaws too. Their struggle is our struggle too.

So why hide it? Why pretend is not there when it is? Why not just embrace it and celebrate in yourself what others may find weird or unusual?

That’s freedom. That’s love. That’s courage.

Embracing your struggles makes you ok with who you are, and that is everything. In life and in business.

How can you create a business that is you if you don’t know who you are?

So…Who are you?

I mean, the real you. The you underneath the clutter. No, not the you you think you should be for the you that everyone else want to see.

The you that makes you excited about who you are and what you are capable of creating. The you that is left once stripped of all of your society titles of wife, sister, mother, teacher, friend…That YOU.

So…Who are you? and what is your story?

I thought that in order for me to be here asking you this and expecting you to share your story, I have to tell you mine.

I don’t have many memories of my childhood up to the age of about 11-12. I just don’t remember. My sister and I always joke that I have a terrible memory. And perhaps that is all there is to it.
I searched for my past in a lot of places. I searched for it in the people I met, in the people I loved and in the ones I lost. I wanted to find “me” and I thought I was best looking outside of myself, in the things I have done and the places I have been to. I always had this very strong feeling to search, to find and discover. I always craved for “more” than how life looked like to me when I was younger but I didn’t know how to get it. I didn’t know how to make it happen. I knew it was there but it didn’t have a face, no colour, no shape. I had no vision, just that feeling of “knowing” that grew stronger inside of me with each day.

I didn’t connect with the peers arounds me. What they wanted and I what I felt I wanted were always very different. I made myself wrong for this for a long time. I tried to fit in and make it ok, and for some time it was. I made friends, I was accepted, I was loved, but somehow, it just wasn’t enough. I developed behaviours in my teens that helped me cope. Food has been a huge comfort go-to place of mine for a very long time. Like a drug, it helped me numb it all. The struggle, the pain, the shame, everything.

That uncomfortable state I hated so much become my safe place. I was comfortable feeling uncomfortable. I was comfortable hiding. I was comfortable playing it small. Or at least, I thought I was.

I was larger than the life I was living and I realised that for as long as I tried to “fit in” and ignore my soul call, I was never going to be happy. For as long as I was looking for answers outside of myself, I was never going to find what I wanted. For as long as I blamed others for my condition in life, I was never going to make a difference in my own or in the ones of others. For as long as I chose being liked over being me I was never going to find who I really was.

I get it. It’s hard to change. It doesn’t just magically happen one day, like I thought it would. Change happens daily. It’s your daily choices, one after the other that translate in change. Change is in what you do, not in what you say you do.

Go.

And do.

It is not about not to struggle anymore. It is about what you do with it, how you deal with it, that makes the difference.

Choose who you are, and do that. Be that. Create it.

 

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